Humor is rarely guaranteed whenever a viewer clicks play on a random comedy movie nowadays, but those looking for productions that are truly hilarious can always turn to gems from the past like the Austin Powers trilogy, which serves as a parody of older spy movies. The installments touch on the common tropes from the genre while exaggerating all the familiar narrative directions, resulting in films that are both absurd and fun to watch.
Another thing that makes the Austin Powers movies funny is the dialogue, which is full of silly catchphrases, sexual innuendos and excellent wordplay. Many of the characters end up making fools out of themselves while trying to appear cool or smart. Rather than be annoying, these childish remarks only add to the awesomeness. There are plenty of incredible lines in the three movies, but the following are the funniest and most memorable.
15 "Why make trillions, when we can make...billions?" – Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
As Dr. Evil and his confidants are brainstorming about a new illegal way to make money, Number Two suggests that since the villain has been to the future, he should use his knowledge to manipulate the stock market so that they can make trillions of dollars in profit. Dr. Evil quickly counters, suggesting they should be more ambitious so that they can make billions.
Why It’s Hilarious
Dr. Evil is arguably one of the dumbest movie characters, and he proves so here once again. He doesn’t know the difference between billions and trillions, thinking the latter is lesser than the former. For a villain hoping to be super rich, the knowledge of basic mathematics is essential, yet the Blofeld imitator has none. Despite making a fool out of himself, the villain brushes it all off like it's nothing. However, his son, Scott, refuses to let it slide, and crowns the moment by referring to his dad as “numbnuts.”
14 "You've got no chance. Why don’t you just fall down." - Nigel Powers in Austin Powers: Goldmember
In the third installment, fans are introduced to Austin Powers’ father Nigel Powers (Michael Caine). He is a super spy too, and happens to be more charming and talented than his son. At one point, he takes on an army of henchmen inside a submarine and when there is only one left, he advises him to just throw himself to the ground because he won’t have any chance against him.
Why It’s Hilarious
Nigel’s sense of pity, coupled with his presumption that a henchman would choose to fake a fall rather than face him, makes the whole scene comical. He feels that the man would be wise to take a look at what has just happened to his colleagues, and then do himself a favor by not fighting him. It’s foolish advice, but still the kind that ought to be considered. Despite his age, Nigel’s confidence is over the roof here, and he manages to back up his words with actions.
13 “You’re the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie. Not evil enough.” - Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
The Austin Powers trilogy is full of pleasant surprises and pop culture references, so Dr. Evil and his son, Scott, once find themselves on the Jerry Springer Show. There, they argue about many things, specifically the reasons why they don’t get along. When Scott asks his father why he neglected him, he gives a rather honest and brutal response.
Why It’s Hilarious
Dr. Evil feels his son is too safe. He isn’t a risk-taker. Neither does he have any villainous attributes, hence the reason he compares him to Diet Coke. He feels that if Scott was a little more badass and daring, they would get along just fine. The quote is ironic too, because Dr. Evil isn’t as wicked as he thinks he is. Compared to other major action movie villains, Dr. Evil comes off as silly rather than lethal.
12 “I don’t kiss and tell. I shag and brag, baby!” - Austin Powers in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery“
Because he is a parody of James Bond, Austin Powers sleeps with several women throughout the trilogy. During the flirting and lovemaking sessions, he speaks a lot. In one instance, he reassures a woman that he is a gentleman, so he won’t kiss and tell. That’s not his style because he prefers to shag and brag.
Why It’s Hilarious
It’s a golden remark because it begins with a noble sentence only to be followed by a silly one. At first, audiences are tricked into thinking that the spy has finally gotten some manners only for him to prove he is worse. Additionally, he rhymes "shag" and "brag," just so that he can make his dialogue sound more flowery and exciting to his object of affection.
11 “I’m not saying it’s hot, but I’m pretty sure the Thermometer reads ‘Satan’s Balls." - Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Dr. Evil’s plan in the second installment is to hold governments ransom by threatening to destroy countries using a special laser that he has placed on the Moon. And he has no doubt it will cause plenty of destruction because his scientists have told him that it’s very hot. His plan never comes to fruition, but it's fun to watch him wax lyrical about his weapons of mass destruction.
Why It’s Hilarious
The Satan reference is a clever one because the devil lives in hell where temperatures are presumed to be high because of the eternal fire. Dr. Evil figures Satan’s balls have to be one of the hottest parts of his body. Only a person like him can assume that a supernatural entity would have balls or even need them.
10 “We have the ultimate insurance policy. May I present to you, Austin Powers’ fahza!” – Goldmember in Austin Powers in Goldmember
At the beginning of the film, Nigel Powers is captured by the gold-obsessed villain, Gildmember (modeled after the greatest James Bond villain, Auric Goldfinger), and brought to Dr. Evil. When Goldmember tries to introduce the man and explain what he is doing there, Dr. Evil has a hard time understanding him because Goldemember keeps repeating the word “Fahza.” It turns out he means “Father.”
Why It’s Hilarious
For about a minute, the two go back and forth about what the meaning of “Fahza” is. It takes a while for Dr. Evil to realize what his buddy means, and that he is only saying the word that way because he has a deep Dutch accent. The exchange is followed by a funnier scene where Nigel threatens everyone in the room, advising them to let him free because he is a deadly assassin, and they have no idea what they are up against.
9 “Oh, Behave!” – Austin Powers, Pretty Much All the Time
Austin Powers says these particular words multiple times in the franchise, especially while he is in the company of women. The quote isn’t exclusive to the franchise as it is generally used within a flirtatious context to either permit someone to continue doing what they are doing or to mock them about how desperate they seem.
Why It’s Hilarious
Powers likes to act like it’s the women who are too eager to get to him, yet it’s him who desperately wants to be with them. It’s some form of reverse psychology, and it always works perfectly for him. Additionally, the line further highlights his playful and cartoonish nature. Unlike Bond, who normally stays serious while flirting, Powers prefers to make the whole encounter look silly.
8 "The '70s and the '80s? You're not missing anything, believe me." – Austin Powers in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Powers’ love interest from the '60s — the conveniently named CIA agent Felicity Shagwell — wonders what life is like in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Arguably one of the coolest movie sidekicks, she is curious and eager to take on new challenges, but Powers believes she shouldn’t bother with what she is interested in. As someone who has been to the future, Powers assures her that she isn’t missing anything. The only exciting things happening in those two decades are a gas shortage and some brouhaha about a flock of seagulls.
Why It’s Hilarious
The spy casually dismisses two decades and labels them irrelevant before going about his business. His review of this particular period is inaccurate because there are plenty of interesting things that happened, but Powers likes to carry himself as a man who is hard to impress. To him, the ‘70s and ‘80s just didn’t have enough going to satisfy a man of taste.
7 "Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard, and full of seamen!” – Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: Goldmember
While welcoming his henchmen and associates to his newest underwater acquisition, Dr. Evil decides to describe it in a rather interesting manner. Instead of simply explaining its features and capabilities, he raves about its size, texture, and the people that are in it. And as he is saying all that, everyone looks at him baffled.
Why It’s Hilarious
Dr. Evil describes his new lair in the same way someone would describe a penis. The fact that he cleverly substitutes semen with seamen to refer to the hundreds of workers that are inside it, makes the quote even more fascinating. This is also one of his numerous attempts to try and appear funny in front of his henchmen and associates. As expected, no one finds him funny, so he is forced to move on to the next topic.
6 "Get in my belly!" - Fat Bastard in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Mike Myers plays multiple characters in the trilogy and among them is a big-bodied man who is conveniently named Fat Bastard. The character is depicted as a generally calm person whose attitude changes when he either sees food or something small. When he is confronted by Dr. Evil's little henchman, he orders him to “get in my belly.”
Why It’s Funny.
Its implied that Fat Bastard wants to eat everything he sees so long as it can fit inside his belly. And the henchman sure can fit perfectly. Even though he is the stereotypical overweight character, his presence and actions don’t come off as controversial because of the kind of movie he is in.
5 “Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?” - Austin Powers - Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
A running gag in the trilogy involves Austin Powers’ obsession with sex, and he can’t help but vocalize it. He says the words above to one of the first women he meets, believing she is very interested in him. He makes it obvious that time doesn’t matter to him. As long as the shagging happens, he is good.
Why It’s Hilarious
Powers’ line serves as a reminder that he has no flirting skills whatsoever. Such a blunt remark might result in getting snubbed in the real world but because Powers is a superspy who happens to benefit a lot from plot favoritism, the line works. Even funnier is how he opens his shirt to reveal his hairy chest, highlighting his lack of manners and giving his object of affection an incentive to reject him.
4 “He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.” Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Dr. Evil once recalls what life with his father was like. He claims that the man was so delusional and full of himself that he would often take credit for things he didn’t do (kinda like Dr. Evil himself). Among the most outrageous things he ever did was claiming that he was the person solely responsible for coming up with the question mark.
Why It’s Hilarious
Dr. Evil loves asking questions (both rhetorical and general), so its easy to see why he would be bothered by this particular claim. He thinks it is foolish because he cannot imagine that there was once a world where people just made statements that didn’t require answers. The irony is plastered all over Dr. Evil’s words too, because he rants on and on about how his father was irresponsible, yet he, himself, has a very poor relationship with his son.
3 “How dare you break wind before me?” – Fagina in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Aware that Austin Powers has a weakness for women, Number 2’s secretary Alotta Fagina seduces him and takes him to a private room. An awkward person, Powers proceeds to break wind, and this makes Fagina slightly furious. She expresses her disappointment that he didn’t let her do it first, and he issues an equally funny retort, saying: “I didn’t know it was your turn baby.”
Why It’s Hilarious
In the weird world of the Austin Powers trilogy, evil people have principles. Fagina believes in the “ladies first” rule when it comes to everything, including farting. Any other person would be angered by the audacity of someone else to pass wind in front of them, but Fagina sees no problem with that. Her only problem is that the Powers didn’t observe the gentlemanly protocol.
2 “No sh**, Sherlock!” – Austin Powers in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
At the beginning of the movie, Powers is seen enjoying his honeymoon with his new wife, Vanessa. After a few seconds, she attacks him, and he realizes she isn’t human but a fembot sent by Dr. Evil to kill him. Surprised, he shouts, letting her know that he has discovered what she is, and in response, she throws a Sherlock Holmes reference.
Why It’s Hilarious
Vanessa mocks Powers by calling him Sherlock Holmes because he took so long to find out her true identity. She implies that his investigative skills are weak, compared to that of the legendary British fictional detective, and she is right. Powers loves getting intimate with his love interests, so it’s a bit surprising that he courted Vanessa and married her without ever feeling her body and realizing she was a cyborg.
1 "Let's just do what we always do…hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good." – Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Having been frozen for 30 years, Dr. Evil has a hard time coming up with a proper evil plan in the new and highly developed world. After suggesting some silly schemes, he gives up and considers doing things the old-fashioned way. This involves using a nuclear weapon to blackmail governments so that they can pay them lots of money.
Why It’s Hilarious
The quote reminds audiences of one of the common spy movie tropes. For the most part, villains normally opt to blackmail governments to earn money, but their plans always get thwarted. However, for Dr. Evil, such a strategy has always worked, so he feels it would be wise if he just sticks to it.
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